Blog #7

When editing my essay and going through the rubric, the first thing I had to fix was the thesis. I didn’t even realize it, but my thesis was so weak. I had made a thesis that wasn’t including my opinion, but rather the opinion of what Geary, Erard, and Khullar thought. So the first thing I did was go back and fix my thesis and re-worded it with my opinion. I had also went back and fixed some transitions. Some paragraphs at first seemed like they didn’t connect with each other (they didn’t flow). By simply adding better transitions, the essay automatically felt better to read. On the rubric, however, I saw a part that asked if the paragraphs were a reasonable length. However, these is difficult for me to answer. I admit that my paragraphs are really long. some take up a whole page. However, I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. It’s not like my ideas are all over the place. The paragraphs make complete sense and flow fairly nicely, connecting with the thesis. There are well supported quotes, and great connections made. Because of this, I’m going to keep my paragraphs the way they are. My last point I need to do is format my paper correctly. I haven’t written the works cited yet, and the in-text citations just include the author’s names. Also, I don’t know how to format the title or even my name. So all the proper format needs to be completed for this essay.